how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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