No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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