who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
