She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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