I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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