shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
