Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
