before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
