Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
