he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
