you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?