its not stalking. its research.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
