Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking