Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
No subtext here. People are naked.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
She needs sedatives and a leash
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.