Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.