Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
