We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
