i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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