If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
