try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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