last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
