i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
