fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
