so explain again why im purple
no
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
