hotel room ftw
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
