sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
