There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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