dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
