She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
