I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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