A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
