I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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