no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
