so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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