the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
