Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
This baby is an asshole
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
