Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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