so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
