I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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