woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize