Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Randomize
