Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
