im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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