So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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