absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
