girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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