I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
