so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Randomize
