god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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