They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
she peed on how many people?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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