i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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