Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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