That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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