literally had 100 drinks last night.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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