the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
