I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize