im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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