Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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