I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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