Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
