Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
