i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
