please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
