the condom got lost in my hair
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize