fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
