I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
