Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
