I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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