im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
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they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
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I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.