tell your sister to shave her snatch
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties