These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
