Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with. http://tfl.nu/6t6o
  Replies (17) Good night (4501) Bad night (840)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos. http://tfl.nu/fazf
  Replies (6) Good night (2548) Bad night (1804)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident... http://tfl.nu/dmae
  Replies (16) Good night (1784) Bad night (1318)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone" http://tfl.nu/ni9u
  Replies (16) Good night (1145) Bad night (3526)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone http://tfl.nu/vw3h
  Replies (5) Good night (899) Bad night (1831)
• Favorite

  (377): View more from

  I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (377): I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick" http://tfl.nu/h7rr
  Replies (9) Good night (2299) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future" http://tfl.nu/uwag
  Replies (17) Good night (4031) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment. http://tfl.nu/97ug
  Replies (4) Good night (1806) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  They want yo temporarily sterile ass.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong. (1-207): They want yo temporarily sterile ass. http://tfl.nu/285n
  Replies (9) Good night (1450) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type. http://tfl.nu/lvgz
  Replies (1) Good night (500) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy" http://tfl.nu/3mee
  Replies (3) Good night (1217) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us. http://tfl.nu/w3kf
  Replies (2) Good night (988) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy. http://tfl.nu/n84f
  Replies (1) Good night (443) Bad night (239)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that. http://tfl.nu/pv07
  Replies (1) Good night (266) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went http://tfl.nu/zl9j
  Replies (0) Good night (512) Bad night (212)

Randomize