Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
