I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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