I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
