It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
