Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
