Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
